Saturday, June 28, 2008

Emo, Club, and the end of hols.

Damn, it sure has been a pretty long night... Very very long night. Another night spent in club... I drank freaking alot tonight. Came outta the club tipsy, very tipsy. If any of you happen to realise, girls nowadays... They're getting wilder and hotter, but yet, some of them are just pure arrogant. Not as a way of showing off, but as a way of showing you the way out. Sad, right? But oh well, I'm sure that someday will come. But damn... I missed out on someone else. Huhu... Why do girls like Maison so much I wonder. C'mon ladies, the dance floor sucks... errr, for guys? But then still, when you have a company or scores of friends there, it doesn't really matter right.

Always, as people would say, a friend in deed is a friend in need. At times when I was drunk, which does not happen often, and I would say it has only happened twice or 3 times till today, since I set foot on earth, friends would always be there to cover for me, take care of me, and make sure that I reach home safely. I guess everyone should return such favours right. Boon got pretty drunk tonight lol. I don't really know why, but he seems to be troubled with his girlfriend's stuff. Dude, I hope you both will work out allright. But of course, you can't be getting away with this without a proper introduction of her to your good friend, and, hmmph... Introduce some of her friends too lol !

I just got home, and I didn't sleep the whole Saturday. There goes my holidays =/ Class's gonna start tomorrow and this sucks baby. Damn... No more free gaming days, no more clubbing on weekdays, and of course, about time to get healthy. Heh. I guess I'm gonna go for squash again tomorrow. With Mikee and gang. I do really enjoy those ball hitting session with them, her especially.

Veen's coming down on thursday, and she's just confirmed it yesterday night. But... She isn't coming down alone. Too bad for me I guess. She did kinda stirr up my emotions for that moment, but oh well... Those draft games got me running along again. Sorry mates, for my carelessness in the game. It was quite foolish of me not to realise such important things in the game. I should go to bed now... Its 2 pm =.=

Friday, June 27, 2008

Fellow ladies, clubs and friends.

Yeah. I'm back. Sitting on this lonely bed, watching Tv, listening to emo songs. Just came back from coco, and yet, there are lots of things that have been wondering in my head at this moment, and I'll try to write what I remember and what I can.

Okay, call me a bad friend. I'm really sorry Kyle, for not making it to the paintball session. I was feeling pretty bad this morning when I got up, and it got worse as soon as I stepped off the bed. The headache stroke me as if I had a stone piercing through my head. It was that bad. Sometimes, I really feel bad, for flying kites towards friends. It happens, you know, at times when I'm so lazy to move my bones, and at times when I'm really not feeling well. Can't help it, and I'm sorry if I did offend any of you guys, or ladies.

I practically did nothing much today, as it is another day of camping at the cyber cafe. Played a few games, and then I rushed home to get ready to club tonight. Cocobanana, the usual spot, lol. Apparently my classmates are still wondering that I'm gonna club tonight. Its friday night you know, how can you bear to stay home? I don't really understand. This is not meant against anyone specific, as I respect everyone's differential decision and persepctive.

As I entered the club, I noticed two girls dancing at the end of the dance floor. From the back, it did look like someone I knew, of course, someone from IMU, the girl who had brought me clubbing at the very first time. I shall not mention names. Thoughts about you ran through my mind as if a waterfall is rushing down the cliffs. Then I messaged her, asking her if the girl is who I've been thinking it was. But then, too bad, she told me that it isn't her, but it's a little too late.I did notice a few girl that was abit drunk at the club tonight. And one of them was her. She fell close to me, and I had to pick her up by her waist, and help her move her way down the dance floor to her table with her friend. Both of them was quite drunk, or I would rather say, freaking tipsy. I hope that they got home safely. And back to the other girl. I shall not mention names, as above. She calls me darling, again, says that I missed her too much. But well, who wouldn't miss such a hot chique. I don't really know, things between us have been quite complicated, and I guess its better to leave it this way, unless we can make an improvement to this.

I drove home, half tipsy. Fetched Kyle back, and got home safely. Or at least I think, and then I messaged Veen. To be honest to myself, I do miss her, in some ways. And knowing that she's coming down next week, I do hope that we can spend some time together, if condition and situation allows. I do wanna club with her again, as it has been quite some time since we danced with one another.

To know that Kyle's gonna ask the dentistry chiques out tomorrow, is a good thing. Now that I'm all excited to go clubbing again tomorrow. Even though I've heard alot about the chiques, but yet, the enthusiasm to meet them is flowing rapidly through my veins. Ah, yes, Josephine will also be down here tomorrow, and she's gonna camp over my place. Lets hope that I don't have to sleep on the floor lol. And I do hope that we'll spend some good time in each other's company tomorrow.

I should go to bed. Desperately needs my beauty sleep. Nitez darling.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Goodbye baby, Guy's Preferences

Arrrrr.... It hasn't been a good day. Okay, besides the fact that I had fun and such, but most importantly, my phone gave up on me. I was complaining about it yesterday, but today, he's gone. Definitely. Sorry and thanks, Veen, for all the trouble you had to go through to bank in that money to me so that I can get myself a new phone.

I did see Mikee again today, and she's abit frustrated about what happened yesterday, or rather, this morning. The lining ups and such. Gawd, even the dean came in and complained about Bpharm's kiasuness, but he did say that he was more worried about the student's safety, so I heard. I'm glad for you Mikee, that you did get what you wanted to do. And thanks alot for the cream too. Hope it'll help.

Talking about girls, and the types of girls we guys like. Its weird. Everyone's got a different taste and preferences. To me, girls... As long as she's nice, caring, outgoing, loving... And most of all, she should know her limits. I personally think, I'm not looking for a good girl, and I prefer those who're not-so-good. Hopefully I can find one who's in between lol. Yet again, today, friends did kinda scold me and ask me questions which I've failed to answer till now, till today. Months have passed, but why and how could I be that stupid to leave a girl who's that pretty and hot? Sometimes it really comes back to haunt me, but I guess what's gone is gone, what's over is over. Its about time to carry on, and of course, we shall not spoil things that are going in the better direction, I think.

Hmmph, I don' t think I'm gonna write alot tonight. I should go to bed soon... I've only got like 3 hours to sleep right now. Gotta wake up for my first ever shooting session. LoL. Okay, its not what you think, if you're reading this. I might be a little polluted, but its a paintball session, not whatever that's in your mind. All excited and fired up, but I'm not sure if I can pull it thru the day tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Of determination and struggles.

I haven't really been to church for quite some time... The last time I came breeze thru the Lord, was last sunday night, during the dinner at Mr. and Mrs. Lam's house. And yet, I was talking about prayers and saying thanks to a friend of mine. Tonight I sit alone on this bed meant for two, listening to Christian Songs, blogging. And its 6.30 am in the morning. Gosh, what had happened to my life. I wonder, and I ponder upon myself. Filled with guilt and regerts of what I've done wrong, what I should've done, and what I shouldn't have done. But a man of regrets will never move forward and strive ahead. I vow to myself, never to look back, and to pick myself up everytime I fall. But it couldn't have happened, not without friends, not without family members, not without You, God. Eventhough many people argued about Your existance, athiests who don't believe in You, people who're confused by Your real words... Here I stand before You every night, asking for forgiveness from what I've done wrong, that I may be a free soul. And to thank you, Lord, for blessing me with lots of determination to pull myself through struggles. At times when I was down and I'm out, I would pray, and there is always light at the end of the dark tunnel.

To laugh or not to laugh, I'll leave it up to you. It's a serious matter. What has happened to people in this country? The latest epidemic plague has swarmed all the teenagers, even young adults. But, how would you really look at it? University students who que up as early as 1 am to get in line to receive numbers that will be given at 7.30 am? Are these people really determined to achieve something in life? Either or, their competitive nature has begun to ravage in their blood, like their hormones. What about the public perception on this university? I really have no idea, as I've never really been through anything like this. I guess its just part of my natural behaviour to be not-so-competitive-prone. Yet, parents and governments wonder, why on earth are suicide rates increasing. I guess I found the answer today. To all my friends who're really determined, I wish you ladies and gents, all the best and may you succeed. And to my friends who haven't been feeling well being pressured this way, I hope you'll take good care of yourself. Especially you, Mikee. You're different from alot of people I've met. Caring, cheerful, jovial... And you're always sincere, even though you can be abit kiddish at times when you come into contact with teddy bears.

I've been single for almost a month plus now. Do you not know, everytime I get a message from you, it sorta like reminds me of the times when I liked you, and I still do. The way you called me darling, the way you tell me that you miss me, the way you complain about things to me, it sorta make me feel that I'm not that bad a guy after all. Although I know that sometimes you are just flirting with me, I like those moments, and it did boost my self-esteem. But, things between us have been complicated. Pretty complicated. Hmmphhh... Now that I've read what I wrote, you sorta remind me of the past. You are quite similar to her, but yet, I think, you know the right buttons to push a relationship to the right path. Should things happen, I would let them take their course. Not that I won't put effort into it, I would, but I've gotta let things go their way to right? I would do my hardest, try my best, but whatever happens next, its not for me to decide.

Pfft, I officially did my first event of sports in like, 3 months?? I don't deny that I've been physically dormant for a quarter of the year, since I started serious gaming. Its all about the games, ways to beat your opponents, trainings to build your teamwork... But when I glanced back, it did look a little silly, yet I'm doing it still now. Trying my luck for this coming SMM Dota tourney. We played squash today, and as usual, I deproved. Played like shit, as compared to me back then. First was table tennis, now squash. Darn... I really think I should get back into these stuff and train myself. Ah, not to forget, I might start working out my lazy bones... Gym? LoL. Although I first thought it is not gonna work, but when I think again, a desperate soul would do anything to get fit :p.

And yes, although I have been telling myself that I wanna keep this blog for myself, I leaked out. Hah. Well, now my classmate knows that I blog, and gawdd.. She was so surprised that she failed to reply me on msn for like... I don't know. Ah yes, a person like me, who has been quite secretive of what my friends tell me, failed to keep secrets for myself. Too bad, I guess I'm weak at heart. When a girl asks me for a favour, or when they ask me for something, I seldom say no. Awww... I guess its good to a certain extent, but someday later, it may come back to harm me. I should be a little more careful with my words and decisions.

Damn... I guess I have to spend money again... Soon. My phone's screwed up. Arrrrr.... Must have been due to the damage it took while banging the floor this morning. It toggles itself as it wishes, on and off to his or her prevail. I wonder if he or she is trying to play tricks on me. LoL? Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep, hallucination.I should get going now that the sun is up. Nite darlings.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Of Sharing, and Caring.

It has been a good day that isn't that good after all... Sorry ladies, I was late for almost an hour, thanks to the tough match that I was having which I ended up losing... But oh well, it was a good fight. I was pretty afraid that any of you would ran out of patience waiting for me though. You know, ladies... They aren't that bad at being patient, but if you happen to strike the wrong string, the guitar strikes back at you.

Sometimes, when I see people who're stressed out, or they're very motivated towards their work, they kinda freak me out, or maybe, give me scares. They do initiate this... Self-concious in myself, that me, as I am, a procastinator. Last minute work, skipping classes, which I'm quite good at, and I use to take pride in these stuff. Oh well... I guess life isn't that hectic after all, or that's what I think. When I look back into my younger semesters, I find them pretty hard strive through. Tough, B-pharmers, it has been tough. And yet I wonder, how'd you people, manage to achieve a 4.0 GPA for these semesters? Kudos to you guys and girls, for trying so hard. Congratulations to those of you who made it, and condolences to those who died trying. I am, who I am, where I stand today. Although I may be different years before this, or years down the journey of life, I am happy with my achievements, and I'm glad that I've made it through all these hard moments.

Veen oh veen. You know, sometimes, you change my heart in a matter of seconds. It kinda upsets me that we had to end the relationship we had this way, but at this point, I think that we both are happy with what we have at the moment, with where we stand at this critical age of young adults. And with the fact that you're coming down soon in a few weeks time... I can't really imagine what's gonna happen, or whatever that is about to take place. I do hope that we will enjoy our times , together or not. All the late night chats, the times when you keep me awake so that I would accompany you and stop you from falling asleep... Arrr, it does take quite a toll on me and my conciousness. But oh well, be gentle baby, you don't wanna mess with a girl.

And I was at McD again. The 2nd time in this week. GG baby, to my slimming down plans. Haha... The hundreds of push-ups and sit-ups, gone in a night. Gracefully sacrificed for a double cheeseburger, with loads of coke, and the usual bunch of friends, gamers. All those stories that were shared, and why am I surprised that I have friends like you people lol.

Well, I had little of patience, when I was much younger. All the quarrels with mum, and such... Fights, exchange of words, now they all look and sound childish to me. About time to grow up and leave such things huh? Patience, I wouldn't say I have loads of them, but I haven't get angry at anyone for quite some time. I guess, the last time was the security guard at Vista C. But, is anger a sin? I don't really know. It sounds more like a devil's taunt to me.

Well, good night, for now. Dead tired.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Hold on, brother hold on.

The song kept playing in my head... "Here in my home". By Malaysians, for malaysians. But I do really wonder, how many of is in this country, feels so. How many of you, are true to this country... When things don't really go our way... When other people's benefit comes before your own.

Practically did nothing today. Pretty same for other days... Ee Ling, you really made me wonder... Why am I spending this holiday this way, when I could really be more productive. But... Oh well, I guess, Daniel = entertainment, and Daniel is who I am. Hmmph...

And yes, thank you Mr. and Mrs. Lam, for the wonderful dinner. You both have been great pharmacists that played an important part in my life... And a great thanks to my last minute date... Seesh, to be kept secret :p. She's been a good friend to me all this while, holding me when I'm falling, picking me up when I fell. She's always been there, and for that I sincerely thank you blob. The dinner was wonderful, alas, home-cooked meal since years of KL life.

Mum called me today... When I was having dinner at the pharmacist's place. Dad sold our house, so I guess we're moving pretty soon, as soon as the deal is completed. Awww, I don't really wanna move you know. I've had lots of good times in the house since I moved in in 2001. It has been many years, all those fishing trips, parties, sleepless nights... Drinking moments with dad. But well, people need to move on. Daddy haven't really been feeling well in the house lately, probably because of the noise and the daily hazzle going on around. Well, dad, you're getting older as days pass. You should take good care of your health.

Jo and Dinesh... LoL. If you both ever read this... Both of you seriously played suckily. But yeah, I enjoyed playing with you guys all these nights we spent in the cc... It had been fun, although there have been tough times, and for you girl, I hope you'll hold on to him, and as a good friend of both, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you two all the best.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Another Day Spent.

LoL. Okie, at the first place, I wouldn't even believe that I would be writing this. I was freaking tipsy yesterday night. So am I tonight.

I practically spent my whole day in Point Extreme again, trying to pawn some noobs... But yet, its just another wastage of time. I should be spending them on something else more beneficial, Ling advises. But yet, those lazy bones... They're still lazy. So... Too bad, time is being spent in Px again, on noobs.

Too bad you know, when what you have been wondering all night, didn't turn out as it was supposed to be. It was a major disappointment, to find out that the HOT CHIQUE yesterday, is a Thai national. I think, or at least my friends think so. I wonder if they're too tipsy to make their judgement, but I still think that S H E ' S H O T. But well, let bygones be bygones.

Things would've changed a little, for the better. Leen isn't angry at me anymore, I think. She says its up to me to decide whether she's angry or not. But... Being a guy, when a girl replies you, I think it sounds like forgiveness you know. I'm a guy who cannot live in guilt, FYI, for those who didn't know. Especially when a girl is angry at me.

Clubbed again tonight. Been spending a little to much. Those cash that I had for the electric bills, disappeared to the hands of the government. 100 bucks down the drain of the tank, for my darling. She's silky black, still looking good. Or at least I think so.

Recently, I got a little boost in my own self confidence. Now that I think I look N O T B A D... Hmmph... I used to be a little passive in club, but recently, there's a little bit of improvement. If you've really decided to find out, ask me about it. If only you're interested cause they may bore you to death. HAHA....

After all, things went smoothly, and today is a better day as compared to yesterday. Gl hf, I would say. Nitez baby.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Well, surprise?

Haha... You know, I never came across this kinda stuff... Starting a blog and such, but... Well, shit do happen, and most of you know that. I doubt anyone would be reading this... I just need somewhere to pour what's in my heart right now.

Too bad, for those of you who manage to find this out and read, I don't think I'll be updating it as much or as soon as I can. Circumstances applies.

Life hasn't been good to me lately, but that doesn't mean God isn't good. I do believe in this term; God is fair, the world is just, and such... Bla bla bla... I guess its just a few of these... Series of unfortunate event stuff pouring in.

Lemme start this off with some emo stories. I don't think you're gonna like it if you do happen to read it. Cynical as I am, sarcasm is a part of my life. But when it affects you directly, there's no way you can be sarcastic towards yourself. Sad, but satisfied. Emo? That's what I used to tell people, like you. Why are you down? I asked. Why are you feeling bad? Why are you sad? But then, not many people ask me back such questions. Then I started to question myself. How many are you are my true friends?

The fact is that, yeah, most of you are. Its just that not all of you are involved in my life. You're friends, not part of me. I do understand, and I personally thank all of you who listen to my rantings, my comments, my personal views and persepctives... Thank you friends... and family. '

I broke up... ON the Aprilfool day itself. Not a joke, but well, it sounds like one. Who would pick such days, but its the inevitable. Things got worse, they just didn't get outta hand, but they got wayyyyy outta hand. She was down, a week later, trying all sorts of things to get me crazy over her, which I shall not elaborate... It was good you know, those few nights. At least we get to spend some time together eventhough our relationship is screwed.

You talked to me, you talked into me. Things were in place, for a moment... And I thought it was a good thing to start anew... With you. But things didn't turn out to be as it is... You were down here, you were hot, you were sexy, you were seductive... You were everything that I could think of, but... Most of all, you haven't been a good partner. Not on bed, but yes, a sucky life-partner.

Things got outta hand way later. I stopped messaging you, girl, because I thought you would be sleeping during the day. You needed the rest, badly. Yet... You claimed that I was ignorant. Indeed I was. I had to admit. Then, things happen again, the way it should be.

Its the 12th of June, when my dad's 50th birthday was celebrated. I was there, yet I wasn't really there. I wanna thank my dad for lots of stuff... Dad's a cool guy. Freaking cool guy. He did play an important part in my teenager life... You know, if you did know... I was a bad son. Argued with my mum, always, most of the time... Threatened to run away from home and such, but daddy was always there, and he still is. He would ask me to come back, no matter where I am, and with that much of respect for him, I always do. I listened to his long lectures, where lectures are just lectures with no intention of getting angry or anger in his voice. He would calm me, listen to me, hear me... Everything, you would ever imagine, the perfect dad. Yet, I didn't really do much for his birthday, and here I am daddy, Happy 50th birthday. Eventhough its a week late or so. I love you dad.

Back to this girl, you know who, for those who know. For those who don't, don't assume. Ask and ye shall know. But, she's a nice girl, nice body, pretty, great attitude, a good way of carrying herself... As a friend. After we broke up, she did a couple of things, which I never found out, till I was being told, by her own will. Of course, I had the right to know, I think. Even though it was a little late, but I'm glad she did tell me after all.

Veen, I had lots of respect for you, as a girlfriend of mine, as a close friend of mine, and as a sister of mine. And I still do. Eventhough things did not turn out to be as before, but you're still someone to me, someone important in my life. I'm glad of what you did for me, what you did to me, everything, and yet there's nothing much I regretted of the things that had happened. I still have that much of respect for you, eventhough you're not the same person to me. Thank you, if I haven't been saying that to you before this, and just to let you know, all the things that you do or did and you're still doing, I do really appreciate it. Just that.... I don't really know how to voice it to you.

Yet tonight, I remained single. Not that I don't have anyone that I'm particularly interested in, but... I think they're just not the right person. There's one, and we'll see how things play thier part, with me and her playing a great role in it. Lets just hope things will turn out good. If it doesn't, its just another chapter in life. Move on darling, I tell myself. Here I stand.

Went on a clubbing spree, since after I let things go. I clubbed for 3 nights a row. Wow. I tell myself. Smoked the shit outta myself, until I can't even breath properly. I was gasping for air on the 3rd day, and yet, I went again that night. With the hangover kicking in, I couldn't be really bothered.

Spent my whole holidays, clubbing, drinking, dota'ing, and whatever you can think of. I did have a good time in Genting with a few juniors, particularly Steph, Amy and Mikee. Mikee has been nice. A good friend, and probably, she'll be a good wife to some. I think, if you can tolerate her advicing skills. She's been nice, advicing me not to smoke, although proclaiming that I'm cheating on my sisters at home by smoking behind them isn't such a good thing... Haha... Mikee, thanks alot. Steph, thanks alot to you too. You've always been there most of the time I needed someone to talk to. Thanks for listening to my rantings, and alot more of those nonsense. Haha...

Tonight... After clubbing for so long... I met this hot chique. She was tempting, seductive, hot, all you can think about... But yetttttt... She was attached. I didn't know, asking a chique for a drink could be this interesting... It has never been, at least from what I've gone thru. Maybe I wasn't screwed up enough to do anything more, but this girl... She was different. So different. Too bad, I didn't manage to get her contacts, or dance with her or anything...

Some of you may think, this is what kids or growing teenagers do, but well. I guess everyone needs something to do right? Hah. Lets just hope that I'll see her soon, and I'll be able to get to know her. Damn.

I did screw up abit of stuff today, and I hope she isn't angry anymore. I do admit that I wasn't being cautious or sensitive enough. And of course, she's a girl. What was I thinking? =.= I am at fault. And, Leen, if you're reading this someday later, I hope that I would be forgiven for doing such inconsiderate things.

After all, it has been a not so good day, and also a good day. I'm indecisive, as usual. Thanks, to those who I did not thank you for being a good friend and pal, and thanks again, to those that know, I do appreciate them, alot. Well, with this, I end my FIRST BLOGGING POST... LoL.