Well, surprise?

Haha... You know, I never came across this kinda stuff... Starting a blog and such, but... Well, shit do happen, and most of you know that. I doubt anyone would be reading this... I just need somewhere to pour what's in my heart right now.

Too bad, for those of you who manage to find this out and read, I don't think I'll be updating it as much or as soon as I can. Circumstances applies.

Life hasn't been good to me lately, but that doesn't mean God isn't good. I do believe in this term; God is fair, the world is just, and such... Bla bla bla... I guess its just a few of these... Series of unfortunate event stuff pouring in.

Lemme start this off with some emo stories. I don't think you're gonna like it if you do happen to read it. Cynical as I am, sarcasm is a part of my life. But when it affects you directly, there's no way you can be sarcastic towards yourself. Sad, but satisfied. Emo? That's what I used to tell people, like you. Why are you down? I asked. Why are you feeling bad? Why are you sad? But then, not many people ask me back such questions. Then I started to question myself. How many are you are my true friends?

The fact is that, yeah, most of you are. Its just that not all of you are involved in my life. You're friends, not part of me. I do understand, and I personally thank all of you who listen to my rantings, my comments, my personal views and persepctives... Thank you friends... and family. '

I broke up... ON the Aprilfool day itself. Not a joke, but well, it sounds like one. Who would pick such days, but its the inevitable. Things got worse, they just didn't get outta hand, but they got wayyyyy outta hand. She was down, a week later, trying all sorts of things to get me crazy over her, which I shall not elaborate... It was good you know, those few nights. At least we get to spend some time together eventhough our relationship is screwed.

You talked to me, you talked into me. Things were in place, for a moment... And I thought it was a good thing to start anew... With you. But things didn't turn out to be as it is... You were down here, you were hot, you were sexy, you were seductive... You were everything that I could think of, but... Most of all, you haven't been a good partner. Not on bed, but yes, a sucky life-partner.

Things got outta hand way later. I stopped messaging you, girl, because I thought you would be sleeping during the day. You needed the rest, badly. Yet... You claimed that I was ignorant. Indeed I was. I had to admit. Then, things happen again, the way it should be.

Its the 12th of June, when my dad's 50th birthday was celebrated. I was there, yet I wasn't really there. I wanna thank my dad for lots of stuff... Dad's a cool guy. Freaking cool guy. He did play an important part in my teenager life... You know, if you did know... I was a bad son. Argued with my mum, always, most of the time... Threatened to run away from home and such, but daddy was always there, and he still is. He would ask me to come back, no matter where I am, and with that much of respect for him, I always do. I listened to his long lectures, where lectures are just lectures with no intention of getting angry or anger in his voice. He would calm me, listen to me, hear me... Everything, you would ever imagine, the perfect dad. Yet, I didn't really do much for his birthday, and here I am daddy, Happy 50th birthday. Eventhough its a week late or so. I love you dad.

Back to this girl, you know who, for those who know. For those who don't, don't assume. Ask and ye shall know. But, she's a nice girl, nice body, pretty, great attitude, a good way of carrying herself... As a friend. After we broke up, she did a couple of things, which I never found out, till I was being told, by her own will. Of course, I had the right to know, I think. Even though it was a little late, but I'm glad she did tell me after all.

Veen, I had lots of respect for you, as a girlfriend of mine, as a close friend of mine, and as a sister of mine. And I still do. Eventhough things did not turn out to be as before, but you're still someone to me, someone important in my life. I'm glad of what you did for me, what you did to me, everything, and yet there's nothing much I regretted of the things that had happened. I still have that much of respect for you, eventhough you're not the same person to me. Thank you, if I haven't been saying that to you before this, and just to let you know, all the things that you do or did and you're still doing, I do really appreciate it. Just that.... I don't really know how to voice it to you.

Yet tonight, I remained single. Not that I don't have anyone that I'm particularly interested in, but... I think they're just not the right person. There's one, and we'll see how things play thier part, with me and her playing a great role in it. Lets just hope things will turn out good. If it doesn't, its just another chapter in life. Move on darling, I tell myself. Here I stand.

Went on a clubbing spree, since after I let things go. I clubbed for 3 nights a row. Wow. I tell myself. Smoked the shit outta myself, until I can't even breath properly. I was gasping for air on the 3rd day, and yet, I went again that night. With the hangover kicking in, I couldn't be really bothered.

Spent my whole holidays, clubbing, drinking, dota'ing, and whatever you can think of. I did have a good time in Genting with a few juniors, particularly Steph, Amy and Mikee. Mikee has been nice. A good friend, and probably, she'll be a good wife to some. I think, if you can tolerate her advicing skills. She's been nice, advicing me not to smoke, although proclaiming that I'm cheating on my sisters at home by smoking behind them isn't such a good thing... Haha... Mikee, thanks alot. Steph, thanks alot to you too. You've always been there most of the time I needed someone to talk to. Thanks for listening to my rantings, and alot more of those nonsense. Haha...

Tonight... After clubbing for so long... I met this hot chique. She was tempting, seductive, hot, all you can think about... But yetttttt... She was attached. I didn't know, asking a chique for a drink could be this interesting... It has never been, at least from what I've gone thru. Maybe I wasn't screwed up enough to do anything more, but this girl... She was different. So different. Too bad, I didn't manage to get her contacts, or dance with her or anything...

Some of you may think, this is what kids or growing teenagers do, but well. I guess everyone needs something to do right? Hah. Lets just hope that I'll see her soon, and I'll be able to get to know her. Damn.

I did screw up abit of stuff today, and I hope she isn't angry anymore. I do admit that I wasn't being cautious or sensitive enough. And of course, she's a girl. What was I thinking? =.= I am at fault. And, Leen, if you're reading this someday later, I hope that I would be forgiven for doing such inconsiderate things.

After all, it has been a not so good day, and also a good day. I'm indecisive, as usual. Thanks, to those who I did not thank you for being a good friend and pal, and thanks again, to those that know, I do appreciate them, alot. Well, with this, I end my FIRST BLOGGING POST... LoL.